Please, Don’t Envy Me!

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Growing up I was close friends with a group of girls. Most of us knew each other from elementary school. One night in college I was talking to one of the girls on the telephone and she broke down and told me some alarming things. She admitted that growing up she was always jealous of me because everyone liked me and she hated that I was confident in myself. She also said that she was jealous of me because she used to believe that I was better looking than her. She said some other things that made me felt like if we were living under the same roof she would have slow poisoned me.

It completely blindsided me because I never knew that deep down inside she truly hated ever part of my being and was secretly wishing for my demise all because of envy. This was a girl that I considered to be one of my best friends and told everything too. I remember in my Senior year of college I invited her to my graduation ceremony and she refused and admitted that she didn’t want to be a part of my celebration because she still had one more year of college to complete.

I could vividly remember thinking to myself that I should be the one to envy her. She grew up in a house filled with sisters and I always wanted a sister, she grew up in a married household, my dad died when I was only 10. She wanted for nothing financially and I watched my mother struggle to raise my brother and I. In the end, she destroyed the relationship I had with the other girls and isolated me from the group all because of deep rooted jealously.

Foolishly she envied my success not realizing that it was not what she could see that made me who I am. It’s who I had to become inside that produced the outside she saw.

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