This is a classic story of boy meets girl, boy dumps girl, girl moves on, boy wants girl back. I have to slide in this *eyeroll*.  LOL

When an ex comes back into your life saying they want you back, it’s a lot. The idea might sound like the biggest joke you’ve heard, or it might make you want to move to Russia.  Sometimes I feel like exes have a 6 sense to know when you are happy and over them. At one time or another, I’ve had to block every form of possible communication (social media, telephone, email, etc.) with some of my exes.

Here are the top 6 reasons why your exes come back when you’re over them:

  1. Power/Control

If your ex comes back to you, it doesn’t necessarily mean he/she loves you or wants to be with you it could simply be that they are power tripping.  I know this to be true for some men because they simply can’t deal with the thought of losing their lady to another man.  Deep down maybe a part of them wants to see if you will come running back.  Then all of a sudden, one phone call or a couple of “I miss you” texts come in.  I’ve had an ex like this, he was very manipulative and just wanted to exert an unhealthy amount of control over my life.  He lost the power over me which he once enjoyed.

2. Missing the water because their well ran dry

You know the saying, “You never miss the water, until your well runs dry!”  They may have treated you like an option,  because they indeed had other options when they were with you.  But now all their options have ran out, so they come running back to you. Also, your ex probably can’t stand the thought of you having moved on without him or her.  Normally, such persons do not care about you at all.  They just can’t stand the thought of someone else coming into your life and picking up the pieces that they shattered.

3. They still have strong feelings for you

You’ve probably been in a relationship where even though the relationship was broken, it didn’t mean the emotions were severed as well.  Sometimes your ex can still feel connected to you when they haven’t completed gotten over the relationship and have lingering feelings towards you.  Your ex probably regrets breaking up with you.  They have taken time to think about what happened and they now realize they lost something good.  He or she may have remembered the good times you shared and are open to coming back to create some more good memories.

4. You’ve moved on and are now seeing someone else and are no longer an option

The thought of your ex actually seeing you happy with someone else can make them want you back.  They begin to reminisce on the good times that you both shared and start to miss you.

5. They realize that the grass was not really greener on the other side

Your ex may have had other prospects lined up and waiting to eagerly take your position.  However, your ex was looking at the 20% you didn’t have and lost sight of the 80% you already possessed.  The missing 20% they saw in you, another person may have possessed it.  The greener grass looked great from a distance, until they stepped in it and realized it was all filled with manure (animal dung and feces).  So after walking all up in manure, he/she begins to wonder if they made the right decision after all.

6. You are just their back up plan because “Plan A” failed

You ex might also want to use you as a backup plan in case his or her love life doesn’t work out.  I’ve found myself in this very same situation.  The guy that I was madly in love with for more years than I’ll like to admit, had me as “Plan B”, unbeknownst to me.  After his “Plan A” whom he got married to didn’t work out he tried to come back to me even though they were still legally married.  He would try to call, text, surprise me with gifts etc.  He would keep asking to take me out to dinner or to go on a mini vacation with him, just as friends (hmmmm…. really).  I had to repeatedly make it clear to him that I was not, and would never be “Plan B”.  Too this very day he stills suffer with what I like to call, “Buyers Remorse”.

You may be tempted to get back with one of your exes simply because you want safety and familiarity.  However, the important thing to remember when dealing with exes, is why you broke up in the first place.  Don’t fall for the trap of going back to what you walked away from.

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