How can one person come into your life and bring you so much joy, laughter, light, peace and security? The best way to describe it is, “collision with destiny”! I was minding my own business and just enjoying life and for the first time I was actually enjoying being single.
Yep, for over two years one of my main focus was on loving me (all of me). I fell in love with myself and genuinely enjoyed being with me. I know it may sound crazy, but until your 100% comfortable being by yourself and in love with yourself you wouldn’t understand. I wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. I had already made the decision that I would be single on purpose.
So many people long for the love and affection of another, that when they loose that person they can no longer see their own self worth. During my time of singleness, I spent a lot of time building my relationship with my heavenly Father (God). It’s one thing to know God because of what a preacher told you on a pulpit, but it’s another thing to know him because you spend time with him and read his Word (Bible) for yourself. During those years my views on a lot of things changed. I saw God for who he is… loving, patient, and full of mercy and grace. I stopped being so quick to judge others who didnt fit into my perfectly square box and tried to look at people with a heart of compassion. I know at the end of the day, that as long as I’m wearing this earthly suit called a body I will never be perfect. Then, for the first time I was completely okay with that because I already love and serve a perfect God.
Reflecting back I can say that it was because of this, love found my heart through friendship. Friendship is a great foundation to build a relationship on.
I’ve heard this phrase many times, “I’m marrying my best friend.” But I’ve always thought it was a bit cliche to be honest. After-all, why do so many couples say this in their wedding vows and share it when telling their love story? I believe it’s because so many of the most lasting relationships begin with friendship.
When your friends you can be who you are sincerely, without pressure of trying to be someone else. Also like any good foundation it takes time to build. True friendship is not rushed. Through friendship we discover the inner workings of the other person like their thoughts, emotions, values and dreams. Another great thing about building a relationship on friendship is that there is no expectations to make a relationship work. There is no pressure to perform, the relationship starts out with two people who can be fully themselves.
When we pursue relationships without a friendship foundation, we tend to put our “best foot forward.” There’s nothing wrong with presenting your prettiest, best self, but it often hides parts of yourself that come out later in a relationship. That’s why building a friendship first allows you to get to know another person with less pressure and expectation.