L adies we all know some red flags in dating that we have ignored. There is a famous saying, be careful who you date, because everyone is not looking for love, some people are looking for help. Before I go on… I believe that the only reason for me to date is to find out if that person and myself are a match for marriage. I personally do not date outside of that reason (just for the fun of it)… also I don’t believe in dating for over 2-3 years (but that’s another topic in it’s self!)
Jumping right in… here are some red flags in dating:
1. There is a check in your spirit that he is not the one or something is not right about him.
I believe we’ve all had that feeling deep down inside knowing that he is not the one! It’s important to take note of this red flag. That check in your spirit is always right. For example, do you have to keep asking him, “where is our relationship going?” and you’ve been dating for 1 or more years?
2. You are more into him, than he is into you.
Ladies this is never a good thing! If a man is into you he will go to the moon and back to make sure you know this. If you find yourself always calling him first or making arrangements to go out, this is a telltale sign. It is the man’s job to court us, not vice versa.
3. He is not financially stable to take care of himself.
If a man cannot take care of his own basic needs (paying rent, utilities, keeping gas in his car or his cell phone is always cut every month) he is not ready to be in a relationship with you. Does he have a J-O-B or is he burning your electricity, emptying your refrigerator and using the WiFi at your place while you are at work? (Been there done that…)
4. He neglects his responsibilities as a father to his children.
He is not involve in his kids lives. Also, pay attention if he has multiple child support cases, this is normally a sign that he has to be forced to financially support his own children.
5. He is never available when you need him to be.
If his phone only accepts phone calls and can’t seem to make outgoing calls, please run in the other direction. More than likely something or someone else is occupying his time or he is just not that into you.
6. He is controlling or obsessed with you.
While we may love the attention we get from the guy we are dating (most of the times), there is a line that should be drawn if he is stalking your every move. If he is already controlling while you are dating, it will only get worst if you were to get married. Being with him should not be causing you undue stress. Both of you should have healthy relationships outside of each other with family and friends. You should have personal time to spend with your family and friends also.
7. You’ve never met or spoken to his family or close friends after dating for at least (6) months.
Has he invited you to meet his family and if not what are his excuses? Does his family even know that you exist? Hmmmm… this is clear sign that he doesn’t look at you as a potential wife.
8. He doesn’t respect you or your boundaries?
When dating there should be mutual respect shown. Also, ladies we should have clear boundaries set up that he respects. For example, is he always trying to get you undressed instead of trying to get to know you? How does he speak to you during a disagreement? Does he talk down to you or is he easily angered? Does he flirt with other women in front of you? Does he leave your home at a respectable time or is he coming over with a bag that just happens to have a change of clothes and toothbrush?
9. Claims that he is a ‘Christian’ but he never attends church. Hmmmm!!!
I find that a lot of men claim to be men of God but yet they don’t spend time reading the Bible or going to Church. Just like we have to communicate and spend time with our mates to better learn and understand one another, he has to spend time with God. The last guy I dated claimed to be a Christian, but he never attended Church and kindly turned down going to church with me when I invited him (even on New Years Eve). For some women this may not have been a deal breaker, but I am seeking a man with God’s heart in my life and I knew that getting married would not have change his mind on attending Church. This is part of my 80/20 rule (I’ll discuss this in another post, stay tune).
I know these are not all the red flags in dating that women should look out for. Please share some of yours. Wisdom = Power